Wow! What a week.

At the hospital 2 days after surgery.  Pretty grusome!

Tara got her staples out this week.  She was so pleased when she went to the doctor and the girls there asked if her staples were in her neck or back.  She smiled and told them they were in her head.  She had curled her hair and had a scarf on.  Wow! You go girl!  She had 22 staples removed.  The front ones were driving her crazy.   She is soooo glad they are out.  She has been a couple of days without pain pills.  She exhausts easily and is still getting plenty of rest.

Our family has had a crazy week and our ward family has really helped out a bunch.   Our neighbors have helped out a ton.   Sunday, Lauren brought dinner.  Monday, Amy took the girls to the orthodontist.  Melissa has been doing Tara's week of carpool.  Tami took two of the girls to violin on Tuesday.  Annalyse took Tara and Allie to Allie's  soccer game on Wednesday. Today, Courtney has a home game with Springville and we haven't decided who will be going to that and we hope Friday is a breather.  It's amazing what mom's do.  Tara hasn't been able to drive.  After friday it's been two weeks and she can take kids.   She has decided to cancel anything that doesn't absolutely have to be done next week.  

We have had amazing meals and people are so generous.  We have felt sooo blessed to be on the receiving end.  It's difficult to allow others to serve because you would rather give than receive.  We have learned what it means to have prayers answered and angels administer.  Our faith has been strengthened and we have truly been uplifted.  

We are looking forward to the weekend and General Conference.  It's tradition that we be as available as possible to catch every talk we can.   If we have errands or obligations we listen in the car.  We also listen and relisten as soon as the cd's are available at he distribution center and on the internet.   It's a great tool for parents to play the talks over and over while in the car because you have a captive audience-the kids can't go anywhere and the stories are easy to listen to and it brings a wonderful spirit.  We hope everyone has a great weekend. 

Homecoming Weekend

Allison and Jerzi at the soccer game 9/23/10

It's been a several days since we've posted any updates.  We've been busy with kids activities.  Soccer games x3 and Sydney had her 18th birthday on thursday, and Homecoming for the High School is this weekend.  Even when there are reasons to slow down things can still be hoppin at our place.



Tara  has had the chance to rest quite a bit. She gets up with the kids and helps with a few things and then goes back to sleep.  She rest's as much as she can before the kids get home . It's been nice for she and Russ to have some quiet time.  Russell stayed with Tara at the hospital  three of the four nights she was  there.  It's been a good bonding time admist the chaos. 







Sydney and Kelby Homecoming 2010



Our neighbors and friends have been amazing.  We've had some wonderful dinners and people have been so generous and kind.  I am realizing  that life is what you make it.  If you want to find the good it's there.  I think we are blinded by our own ignorance and pride when we can't see the positive.  If you are struggling think of what you are grateful for and things will improve.



 

 Thursday was Sydney's birthday.  We usually decorate to start off the day, and usually have things planned out.  This year was different, of course, and we just rolled with the punches.  Syd and a close friend had their toes painted and they went to lunch.  Court had a soccer game at SFHS vs. MMHS and the family went over for that.  Tara stayed home.   Maple Mountain won 7-1 and Russ was really pleased at Courtney's effort.  Early in the day Tara wanted to go visit Sheree while she was canning in her Garage.  Russ walked her over, so that she could visit for about a half hour.   When she got home, baby Jerzi and Melissa stopped by to visit before they all left for the game.  Tara really enjoyed seeing the baby (everyone in our ward knows we love babies).  Syd had some friends over later that night and we had cake and ice cream. 

Friday we had hoped to take a ride and pick up Russell's mounted head of his goat from last year.  Tara wasn't feeling quite up to it, so we didn't go.  She rested most of the day.  Before the kids got home they ventured out to the fabric store and picked up some fabric for Sydney's homecoming dress.  When they got home he  took half the kids to do errands.  Tara called her good friend Kristy and she came over to help do the sleeves for the dress.   It turned out sooo nice.  Kristy did a super job.  Syd had purchased her dress, but it needed sleeves to be modest.

Someone dropped by with dinner and Tara's visiting teacher dropped by some flowers and visited a little bit.  Russell got back with the kids and Syd and Court left for the homecoming game.  Tara and the little kids watched tv the rest of the evening on her bed. She was pooped.

She is hoping she gets her staples out on Monday.  They are starting to itch and drive her crazy.








Courtney playing soccer at Spanish Fork vs. MMHS 9/23/10



September 20, 2010

Today has been a great day.  I started out rather antsy-- just toooo excited to get up.  I literally woke up every two hours wondering if morning was every going to come.  Then I couldn'tremember... why I was so excited I cant remember now, but just the same.  Russell got up and left at 6:30am to get home for the kids.  Court and Erin had to be taken to school by 7:35 am and the other kids had to be picked up by car pool by 8:10am or so.   Syd takes herself about 7:15am.  When Russ left I got in the shower.  I had to sit on a chair with a towel on it and just let the water run- it felt sooo good.  I just sat their for a good 15 minutes.  This is why I must have been so excited, I guess a simple pleasure.

Dr. Reichman came in early and I could hear him out in the halls.  He sauntered in and talked with me about getting a CT scan and he mentioned that I was doing well.  We talked about my treatment and he mention yesterday that my arteries had had trauma.  We discussed it.  I felt a lot better knowing that.

I had a slower day which was nice because I needed some rest.  Russell returned from taking the kids and we just took it easy He didn't have work, so he studied for his class in the afternoon.  I watched tv and read the paper and listened to several talks on dvd.  I rested. My mom came to relieve Russell and he went to class. 

I had several visitors, my older sister Tanise, she had just returned from Florida with the BYU team and Pres. Samuelson. It was a short quick trip for her.  We chatted and talked about miscellaneous stuff and laughed as sisters do.  Doug Cornell stopped by, one of my dear friends. The Radfords came and it was nice to snuggle their little baby.  Diane came and we laughed and laughed.  Diane you are awesome.  My brother, Aaron, and his family came to say hi and Russell came back with the kids for a short visit. Sydney came to get the kids after going to the gym.  Why is it you can't enjoy your family as you do others?  They seem to get on your nerves and you are done sooner than later. 

I had two CT scans, one in the morning early and one in the evening with contrast and it looked great from what I hear.  I enjoyed meeting many people at the hospital that were interested in why I was there 

It was a nice day.  It was good to see everyone that came to support me.  I can't believe I've had brain surgery.  It's amazing.

Update for Monday, 20 September

Tara seems to be progressing well toward  being ready to be discharged from the hospital on Tuesday.  She is getting some rest, and stronger than yesterday.  My observation, is that her pain is in better control and aside from getting over the allergy to one of the medications she is aware and more conscious of her surroundings.  She still has her sense of humor and quick witt!  She is deciding whether to cut some of the hair the doctor left unshaven for her to make the decision to keep it or what.  Her older sister, Tanise visited and presented her with a new baseball-type cap with the familiar "Y" on the front.  She is all set to go and no one would ever suspect Tara had no hair underneath it after major surgery!   

Russ has had quality time with Tara and spent all morning at her side.  Then, I (Grandma Mattie) went over in early afternoon and sat with Tara until Russ returned a couple of hours later.  Sydney stopped by for a while too.  Tara also said she has had a few visits from extended family, as well as her younger little ones too, who were very anxious to see how their Mom was doing.  They can't help but to miss her and have her home soon.  .

They were able to visit with her as well. Maybe she can post something later about that and describe how their first visit went with her since her surgery on Friday. 

Thanks again for all the well wishes and the family is most grateful for all the kindnesses extended in their behalf.  You are all so amazing.  

Filling In The Blanks

This entry is from Grandma Mattie:

The last few days have been another way to see the Fryer family at work doing what they have been taught, by their mother, wife, Tara.  How are they doing?  Amazing!  It is not everyday a grandma gets to be a fly on the wall observing the life and daily struggle that many of you also have in your busy lives.

Tara is a great teacher, wife and mother.  Her  whole life each day is dedicated to those she loves and adores:  Russ and their five children.  Each one is taking their situation in stride and doing their part. Tara left a lot of reminders and helps for her family to do and function while she is recuperating and facing the challenges as a patient and the caregiver of her little flock. 

Russ:  What a trooper. There is no doubt of his great love for his wife and dedication to his family.  He takes care of the details and is the "go-to-guy" and handles the day to day stresses and carries on with what needs to be done.  He is more  the protector and provider.  He is showing a lot of patience with Tara especially.  His thoughts are first of her and her comfort and willingness to be at her side and attend to her needs.  Tara is able to depend on him and know he deeply loves her and cares about her and her well-being. 

He spent the morning at the hospital at her side.  But, Saturday afternoon was spent away from her to be at home for several hours to help can peaches.  He and the kids pitched in, he had ordered several bushels of Lemon Elberta’s and put up thirty-two quarts of peaches. He single-handedly made it a priority for Tara not to miss out on having bottled fruit, which she may have done, had things been “normal” for her had she not been in the hospital at this time. 

He had grandma babysit with Tara at the hospital so he could manage and tackle the fruit for their winter food storage.  The kids all pitched in and together they got the job done!  How pleased Tara will be and delighted when she gets to have those delicious peaches to add to her meals when she gets home! 

The children were very cooperative and had things under control by doing their chores, with a little encouragement from grandma. Their mother, Tara left a lot of lists and notes for them to remember which chores that needed to be done while she was absent.  She taught them and they had learned to work and focused on what they needed to do . . . everything from dusting the base boards, to scrubbing them too with  a tooth brush, to wiping down the doors of the house and cleaning, sweeping and mopping the bathroom floors. 

They have all been blessed to do their chores and remember the “glue that holds it all together."  MOM!  Allie, Jacob, Courtney and Erin all practiced their music without complaint and went to their lessons as usual this last week.  Grandma hardly had to do anything but gently remind them to practice and get them to their music lessons.  Erin is assisting in making sure to download some family pictures she took to post on the family blog. Way to go, Erin!

Sydney is filling too in making sure the kids get to and from their activities and worked hard to get to her responsibilities as well.  Courtney took over the task to get the laundry caught up for the week as the Saturday jobs were done.  She single-handedly made it a high priority and focused on organizing everyone’s clothes, sorting, washing, drying and folding laundry.  She also made sure the lawn was mowed, front and back besides without having to be told    

[Tara, they all miss you and pray for you to get well and be with them when you come home from the hospital.]       

Erin and Allie went to pick sunflowers for a small bouqet in a vase to send to Tara at the hospital. She loved them! They brighten her room. 

Saturday is a busy day for everyone else, I know. Yet kindness knocked on their door and lunch was brought in-- food fit for royalty. . with chicken salad, croissants, fresh cut fruit with Ritz crackers and yummy dip.  Thank you, from the Fryers.  It made their day.

Then, as they were wrapping up the peach patrol, dinner was brought in too! Enchiladas! Yum.  They really are thankful for someone bringing that “bit of sunshine” to their home.  It is especially appreciated.  How can we ever thank everyone enough?

So, there are a lot of helping hands here that are filling in the gaps in Tara’s absence. Thank you so much, again, neighbors, and friends.  You all mean so much to the Fryer family. 

Bless you all,  “Grandma Mattie”

flowers

The flowers Erin and Allison gave tara

Day Two. . . . .

This has been a slow day.  I can't seem to keep my eyes open.  They transferred me from the ICU unit to the
4th floor.  I've been able to walk around the Fourth floor with help, my mom and sister, Tracie came and walked me on both sides holding on tightly.  I dressed in my new black and white, polka dot pajamas. 

 My meds make me drowsy, so I don't dare walk without assistance.  I can eat a regular diet, but don't have much appetite.

I am experiencing some itching on my arms, legs, stomach which looks like hives.  Fun!! They brought me some Rx for the itching.  I think I am having a reaction to some of the pain meds or antibiotics. 

I am making great progress though, even so.  The dr had told us I would be in ICU for three days.  So a day and a half is very good!


Sorry, I am gong to keep this short.  THANK YOU again, for the well wishes, and prayers.

More posts later. . . .

Tara  : )

Recovery Update 9-17 4pm

Tara is doing well.  When she first arrived on the floor she was in a lot of pain but they quickly got on top of it so she is resting comfortably now.  She even got to keep a good portion of her hair.  Just a little sparse in front and on top.  Nothing a good baseball cap or comb-over won't fix.

Post-Surgery Update 9-17

Just spoke with Dr. Reichman, he said the surgery went very well.  He was able to access the aneurysm through the two hemispheres of her brain so minimal brain matter was disrupted.  He placed three clips and also stabilized the vessel with some packing material.  He was able to keep blood flow throught the vessel which will minimize the possibility of strokes.  Tara is awake and talking and moving her legs and they just moved her up to the second floor.  We should be able to visit with her soon.  Tracie, Hank, Anna, Hank, Sydney, and Kelby are here supporting the cause.  I really appreciate their love and support.

Surgery Update 9-17

Sitting in the waiting room waiting for the doctors to finish up with Tara's surgery.  The charge nurse just informed us they have successfully clipped the aneurysm and are in the process of closing her up.  Dr. Reichman should be out in the next half hour to give us the full report so I will keep you posted.  She will spend the night in ICU.  They tell me only immediate family are allowed in so visiting access is limited.

Thanks Mom!

My sweet mother wanted to make sure I had this documented.  She sat down with my daughter Erin and they created our blog.  My mom and sister, Tracie, thought  it would be an excellent way Erin could share her artistic and creative talent.  They will be adding some pictures shortly.  Grandma Mattie, my mother, or Erin will be updating some of these post, unless, I can get my husband to help out.  Russ is the true writer.

Eve Before Surgery

The night before surgery we celebrated my dads birthday and got Chinese take out; and we gave my mom  presents from all of us.  

Dad gave each of us a priesthood blessing, too  It was a special time for our family as we got ready for Mom's big day tomorrow.         (Post by Erin)

Marathon Month

It is the eve of my surgery.  I am absolutely exhausted.  I have been talking to so many people for so many different things I feel I have gone in a complete circle.   I have been trying to tie a few loose ends and there are some I just won't get to.  Sorry. 

I can't believe this is happening to me.  It has been so surreal.   I have moments that just zip by and I have others that just stand still and I feel like I am moving in slow motion.  It's been almost three weeks since we discovered that I have a brain aneurysm.  I had a random eye infection from an allergic reaction to some Neosporin that turned into a raging infection.  I looked like I had been stung by a bee and my right eye was  swollen shut.  After a couple of days of this, I ended up visiting the Emergency Room.  The doctor was concerned that I could have fluid/infection building up behind my eye that could spread to my brain.  A CT of my orbits (eyes) was ordered.  The scan came back negative and they said my eye was ok, but that they found an abnormality.  The abnormality was an aneurysm.  They suggested I have a work-up and have another CT to confirm.  Long story short and two more tests and a doctors appt.  It was confirmed that I did in fact have and aneurysm. 

When the surgeon contacted me he said that I need d to have surgery as conveniently possible.  I needed to discuss things with my husband and get back with him.  It was decided ,that nearly three weeks later would be the date, Sept 17, which is my husbands birthday.  Bummer!

Since that time, I have had a range of emotions from relief, to anger, to submissiveness and not necessarily in that order.  At first I thought,  "is this a bad dream, is this really happening to me?"   Over these last couple of weeks I had thought long and hard about everything.   I honestly have never said,  "why me?"  I don't know why, but I have analyzed it in every other way.  I have come to the conclusion that its just one of those special opportunities for me to evaluate what is most important to me, and to give a self check of where I am at this time.  I have had anger that it's something I don't have control over, really.  It's going to make me dependent on others and I prefer to be independent.  Does being dependent make a person  weak?  At first glance I would say, yeah kinda, but looking again it gives a person an opportunity to appreciate the giving and receiving process.  It takes great strength and submission to allow oneself to be served.  Your perspective is skewed, not correct, if you haven't experienced both sides.  I am now submitting myself to what is before me because I have greater understanding through the humanity that I have experienced in these three short weeks.

In layman terms I am so grateful for this opportunity to get to know myself better, but I haven't been able to get to know myself better without the wonderful people around me that I love.  People have been so kind to me and my family.  I am amazed at the power that is in simple kindness.  A kind word, or words.  I have so many people say, "I have prayed for you,"  "can I help?" "love you."  I have had random phone calls, random acts of service, hugs, and flowers, and those that have just listened.  I believe prayers are answered through one another serving each other-angels.  I never questioned people cared, but given the opportunity to know of a need-people are there.   

I thought I was some what ok where I was in life.  I have all my children in school this year,so I was looking forward to having my own time.  I have felt in a hurry to get back to school and every time I think there is an opportunity something else comes up.  Well those 'something's' tell me it's not time yet.  I felt somewhat in limbo, maybe a little bored, frustrated that I haven't had my own time and with this experience I have realized that I have been blind at the reward of serving my family and seeing their progress--my husband is teaching at the local university and feels more engaged at the opportunity because he has felt stagnant.  My oldest daughter is a senior and is excited at her prospects she and I had the opportunity of working together for the summer and made great memories.  I have another daughter seeing some of her goals she has worked hard at materializing right before her eyes.  All those practices are paying off.  I have another child that just started junior high and she is maturing in her independence and  loves the change and the newness of being one of the older kids.  I have two in elementary school  that still make me feel that they need me.   They are my life.  Much has been required.  Things have abruptly changed and they all will be giving back just a little.  We have all traded places-I will need a lot of their help.    I think true happiness or success is to love and be loved.

My greatest strength through this whole experience is my faith.  Faith  in God, that He is there and is truly mindful of  me--individually.  He has suffered and I am suffering and through His atonement I can be whole again.   I have prayed more sincerely and have been comforted many times by His spirit.  I have leaned on my family and their faith when I needed reassurance.   I feel knowing who I am,  a daughter of God, has blessed me to see a greater picture, that life is eternal and that these experiences we have on earth are a refinement. 

Wish me luck!  How can I lose with the Lord on my side?

 Love, Tara